The Motivation Got Away

Sometimes anybody could experience a motivation got away. Just when a task was at hand, could have been done in a snap, right at that very moment, their inner strength lost suddenly. As if it were taken away from them, as if the air were taken from you as you were breathing. By that moment, it was no longer important to look upon your goals. What far more important was to run after your inner strength first, your motivation.

How could you get it? Nothing instant came in the process. The very simple way was to prepare yourself a present, a reward, a fake external motivation so that you could be moved to start working your task. The hardest way was to evaluate yourself, revalue your purposes of doing the task, thinking of cost and benefit if it had been done or abandoned, thinking about all the fight you had been through to get at the point where you were belong.

Chose one, then you would have yourself your motivation of whatsoever. Some people would go for the easiest one, to have an external motivation. Let me assure you, this would not last very long. Something that came from outside of your body and mind would never last as strong as what came from the inside. I would recommend finding yourself a genuine internal motivation whenever you met an obstacle. A bit difficult in the process but you could came over the hurdle in a snap, making it a stepping stone towards the greater achievement and pride.

Easier said than done, but trust me, i wrote this not just for scam. Only i had experienced it myself i could have the courage to write it. Every time i could not breath, losing my inner strength, i would always ask myself: did this hurdle or obstacle worth me turning back to the start or i should just break them to pieces and kept moving along? You should know the answer now…

Catch A Breath

God, it’s going to be 6 years by this September of 2010. I got accepted into my university in 2004, if I’m not mistaken it was around August. The same month where i was running away from home, a sign of protest that I needed some personal space and freedom of thought as a human being. I was a very pure young lad back then, knew nothing but some idealism of how to live life.

I have been studying psychology for 4,5 years. This is not a short period of learning how a human being should behave and think within accordance manner of his/her environment. A lot of things i have learned since the first day i attended university. The very proud day of wearing that yellow jacket, sometimes to round up the sleeves, showing off some machismo.

First thing i learned was “the way of respect”. To honor someone, in eastern culture, especially in this country i am living, it is considered  rude to call someone older than you by his/her first name. My family always had this in my mind. It is rather a complex thing, talking about someone’s first name. Added up, in Javanese culture, though one is younger in age than you, if one is a child of someone older than your parents within the root of the family (simply put: younger cousin from your ma’s/ dad’s older brother or sister); then you should not call one by one’s first name. In English, it would be like adding a “bro” or “sis” before his/her name.

In contrast to this value i have been taught my whole life, up till now of course. In my faculty, majoring psychology i were, actually still am, calling somebody by one’s first name is actually OKAY! As long as the one you referred to is not a professor nor a lecturer. Then you should use “sir” or “ma’am” before one’s name. I am talking about colleague here, not professors. It is really okay to call your sophomores, your seniors, even last year ones, just by their first name, though you are a freshman. To be noted, one of my seniors actually told me that: TO RESPECT SOMEONE IS NOT BY ADDRESSING THEM WITH CALLS OR NAMES. His point was, attitude is much more important than just a name. If you truly respect someone, show it with your attitude, your thoughts, your behavior, and your actions toward one. Calling names like “bro” or “sis” is useless if you have in-the-contrary-attitude towards anyone you called by one.

That was number one, first thing i learned during the days i attend university up until now. This second one, is rather unique. As a college graduate, anyone is expected to produce and have some skills of academic writing. Be it a scientific short article, a short daily events analysis journal, even a thesis! In short, once you have graduated from university you are expected to have some productivity in writing. One important principal i was taught back then, and i remember it till now: YOUR VALUE AS A HOLDER OF A BACHELOR DEGREE, ESPECIALLY MAJORING PSYCHOLOGY, IS WEIGHED BY YOUR WRITINGS. He was trying to say, your writings represent yourself. No matter how simple it is, the way you spoil ideas and crafted it as writing is a vivid projection of what you are, who you are.

Third one is something came out from my very own personal experience. You may guess, it has something to do with romantic relationship, i admit it. Whenever you engaged with whoever he/she is, you’re talking about creating a solid mixture of values, thoughts, and attitudes together as one, a holy universe for both person. Of course, there would be problems, arguments, fights, even disappointments. Upon this rise and fall of relationships, i actually learned one crucial thing i took as prime principal my whole life: PROBLEMS ARE THERE TO SOLVED. No matter how far you ran away, it would always be there haunting you over time unless you face it. Let alone the consequences of solutions. Simply put, you don’t run from your problems, you face them!!

Well, those were what i have learned during my first few days attending university. I currently taking a semester break, a forceful one in order to save my academic career. I have taken all twelve semesters that were available for each person studying psychology in our university. In my last one, i forcefully took a break, as i said earlier. This prevented me from getting dropped out after the 12th semester, instead i have another extra one to spend. I would use it wisely, since it is my ‘last’ one for real.

Having this major problem of getting dropped out or graduate is like having a rope around your neck. You are faced with two options only: to keep breathing or  to jump down, end it all. Nevertheless, the three points i have mentioned earlier came useful to me around this tight moment. One, no matter what you have been through, if you survive it people would give you the attitude of respect, with note in mind that not everyone could barely escape the very same rope. Two, i would worth and weighed high if i choose to keep breathing instead of jumping down. I might choose to end it all immediately, while keeping in mind that breathing with a rope around your neck is useless. If i just continue breathing, and really start pushing myself to finish my thesis and have that bachelor degree, i would not need to jump down. I could save myself from this hang-to-death punishment. This is my main problem right now, which led us to enter number three, problems are there to be solved. We don’t run, because no matter how far we go away, it will always haunt us back, waiting to be faced.

All i need now, is to catch a breath…. phew… so help me God!

Bullet For My Valentine (live in Jakarta)

“I want to share some stories about what happened during the live concert of Bullet For My Valentine in Jakarta on 4th February 2009. This short report will contain my experience attending the concert and some facts during the concert held. For your information, i attended the concert a little late. My brother and me were supposed to meet at 7.oo pm but due to traffic he managed to get there in 8.40 pm. He was the one holding our tickets as he bought it a day before the concert. But we still manage to catch a few songs at the last minute though.”

left to right: Moose, Matt, Padge, Jay

For a start i would like to shortly introduce the band to you, readers. Bullet For My Valentine is a Wales band consisting of four members of current line-up. They are Matthew Tuck a.k.a Matt on vocal and guitar, Michael Paget a.k.a Padge on guitar, Michael Thomas a.k.a Moose on drums, and Jason James a.k.a Jay on bass. They are influenced commonly by Iron Maiden, Metallica, Megadeth, Machine Head, and Slayer. They sound like those New Waves of British Heavy Metal, put it simply, they play metal. Currently the band have released one album, a mini album, and a few live records also singles CD.

As you may all know, Bullet For My Valentine was scheduled to have Asian concert and the visit would be in Jakarta, Indonesia. The concert was dated on 4th February 2009 and scheduled to start at 8.00 pm local time. There was no official opening-act for the band, inspite there were some local band playing just outside the venue an hour before the concert started.

I do not know for sure what they were playing for the opening as i were late. But as i was waiting for my brother to come, i walked around the venue and managed to catch a song or two. Basically they were playing almost all of the songs in “Scream Aim Fire” album.

The security guard were tight. No one allowed to approach the venue without having a ticket, even if one was about to walk around it to get to some other places. There were some restricted area where people were not supposed to walk by, except one is a crew. Around the front gate there were some people selling ticket half-priced, due to the concert that had been running for around 30 minutes (it was 8.35 pm when i walked to the front gate). There were also a bunch of t-shirts stands, all of them having “Bullet For My Valentine” logos on the chest side.

Finally my brother and i managed to enter the venue as he arrived. There were a small stage at the outside (oh yes, the concert was held in tennis court indoor with full air con). This was the stage used for the local band to perform just before the BFMV (Bullet For My Valentine) started playing. I dont know what band that performed, as i arrived late, sorry for the bad news.

I was walking in the scene when one of the security guards told me that the concert is over, yet i might try to enter if i liked. So we (my brother and i) kept walking and finally entered the venue when we heard the audience screaming for more songs. I predicted that they have not played some songs and saved it later for encore. My guess was right, the whole band back to the stage and started playing “Waking The Demon”. The concert ended when they played their last song “Forever and Always”. Matt and Jay managed to hold the song for having the audience clapping their hands in the air, Moose and Padge still playing their part to keep the rhythm flow.

In overall, it was a good concert. I see some enthusiasm of the audiences who were singing along with the band, especially those who stands in front of the stage. But i must regretfully say that the sound quality was awful. You can not even distuingish the differences between both guitar player, even bass sound didnt come out well. There were some excepetions of course when Padge played some lead, and Moose’s drum hitting. The rest is just awful, though you guys had managed to perform well in my opinion (sorry for Matt, Padge, Jay, and Moose…the play was great but sound produced just could not match your virtuosity).

Anyway, i would be waiting for the next visit of BFMV. Your fans would be very pleased knowing that you had your heart for Indonesia as a place to perform. Keep rocking guys!!

sources:
http://www.bulletformyvalentine1.com

http://www.myspace.com/bulletformyvalentine