The Letter

I wrote a letter to you
I put all my compassion making it
It took days and nights to complete
How should I give it to you?

I broke a leg for you
I used all my strength
It made me crippled
Yet, were these enough for you?

Now you’ve walked away
Turned your back left me behind
I guess all that wasn’t enough for you
Who am I to give it all to you?

Drowned to every bottom of the glass
Having a shot or two
Trying to escape from reality
I couldn’t stand watching you fade away, with someone new

Where to burn all that letters?
Where to throw away all that sacrifices?
How could you leave me behind?
Am I not good enough for you?

Drowned to every bottom of the glass
Having a shot or two
Trying to escape from reality
Here I sit watching you fade away, with someone new

So I’ve burned all that letters
I’ve thrown away all that sacrifices
So you should leave me behind
As I’m not good enough for you

Thorn and Scar

Recently, i’ve been hearing some late 80′s rock songs. One of them was performed by Poison. You may all know the song “Every Rose Has Its Thorn”. It was released in October 1988 as their single. I dont’ really know much about Poison, but i’m telling that this is one of the song that made them famous as a band, yet a legendary one.

Just like Brett Michael said in the song, “every rose has its thorn”, you wouldn’t mind to stop by and smell the roses. It’s actually fun, and sometimes inspiring. But, do you ever think that its thorn is the one that really make your day? Oh yes i do think so!

You would never tell people with whom you share story that a rose was smelt while you were walking down the street. I’d rather say, that someone notices even more when he/she sees you bleeding and ask “hey, what’s wrong?”. This is the very true part of roses, every one of them has its thorn. You might remember the color, the smell, where you smelt it, but you would even memorize the wound when you hit the its thorn.

Same thing with people, in my humblest opinion, sometime you’d be seeing each other and enjoy it. As if you were stopping by for those roses. But no matter how beautiful the memories,  i don’t know why, always the “wound” that you keep most as memories.

Oh, haven’t i mentioned that every “wound” leaves its “scar”? Do they heal? Of course, but it takes time.

There, i have said it…

A Thank-You-Hang-Out

It all started when i suddenly felt okay about picking up a phone, actually made one back. Somehow, the missed call my mate did was giving me some chill. I wonder if it had something to do with our photography small project. It turned out that he and some friends decided to drop by at my house. The appointment was made rather around night, so i could wait for my mom coming home.

Like usual, someone did make some mess in my house. We used to do it  somehow, and my mom seemed to be okay with it. I left them with some drinks and snacks before changing my clothes upstairs.  Likewise, my friends played words with each other, making fun of themselves while waiting. I just joined them later.

There was nothing special about the hangout. We just did some chatters, smoke shisha, had card games, pool table laughter, and open-ended sessions. But upon all it was my friends intention to take me out for awhile that really gave me the chill down my spine. I never thought they would’ve come that far just to cheer me up.

Anyway, it always been a pleasure to do anything with you guys even it is something that takes sacrifices. The next time we go out, let it be not because of something blue but rather something shiny and bright!!

Mass Gathering

Unethical ways of holding a public show?

It is 8 am in the morning now.  Yes, Sunday has come. It  was so early, i can only remembered that last night i was hanging out with my friends after a few songs i played back in graduation party for this semester. Yep, that is right, i am a university boy. I had those songs played dedicated for my friends that have just been graduated as a bachelor, congratulations fellas! I am going to get through the same path with you soon, yeah for sure!

Now now, let us move to another part of last night story. I had some interesting driving-home experience. Just for your info, it usually took around 30 minutes by private car to drive from home to university. I had count the traffic also, having that amount of time to travel is sufficient to get you to an appointment on time.

Last night, i was having a 2.5 hours of driving just the same route. Can you imagine? No, of course you can not. For some reasons, the only thing that will make your traveling duration a little bit longer was some common causes for example, during the home-coming hours (this is when some schools or college along the route had the same time off, so most people are driving using the same route to get to their way home). For this reason, you may have to added around 20 more minutes of the traveling time.

Now i want to explain what exactly happened. Earlier that night, one of the graduation committee asked for my friend help. Apparently one of the performers for last night show was on held. She was a member of Otak Encer (this was local band in my town). She informed that the usual route to the university was blocked, there was some kind of public gathering. So she asked for another route to go for. As a kind person, my friend was giving the direction also some cues to be watched.

When the clock showed that it was 10 pm, i decided to go back home along with one of my friends. She had not brought her car, knowing that our houses were in the same district, i decided to drop her off. My friend that was helping the committee with the alternative routes warned me of possible traffic jam. He said that the mass gathering might be held in some kind of fashion that would influence all the traffic around that area. I replied to him that around this time, it might have been over plus it was raining that night.

So i took all my gears, picked up my friend where she was hangout with some of the audiences, drove around the parking lot, and moving out from the university territorial. I noticed there was some strange things, for the first time i remembered i looked at the exit gate for one route was chainned. Alright, this was quite strange as it used to be the one of the exit routes around this time. My friend (that i was about to drop her off) said that this happened due to the university graduation ceremony, some exits usually got closed to manage the traffic inside the university territorial (yeah, it has some kind of street wide enough for a bus to travel around those various faculty buildings). The street i travelled after i left university was quite clear. So i said to myself that the road-block might have been opened. Of course, just 2 hours to midnight, what is the reason of keeping it.

After some kilometer of traveling, i met the unwanted condition. The drama that took all my energies just for driving home. We were driving slowly, so slow that it took an hour for just 5 kilometers of it. Bored, that is what we felt that night. Could you imagine the static traffic ahead of you. None of the cars moving, all seem like parking in a lot. Not to mention the four lanes of congestion using the actually three lanes. Sometimes she had to warned my about my car mirrors, afraid that it would hit other car’s.

So after an hour, of course both of our parents got worried. I got called and texted once, while she had several times. Yep, it was 11 pm and none of us had gottten home yet. Then i saw this flag banner along the road. Before, i was guessing that this traffic jam might been happened due to the mass gathering held by some fanatics. Couple of times i was trying to make sure of me, it was impossible. Yes it  was possible when i saw a man or two acting like a parking crew. Oh, i got to tell that the street i had taken had branched. It goes into two ways, but eventually ending the same road again. The right branch was closed. So all those four lines of cars congestion forced to ‘accidentally’ having the left branch street.

Along this street, i saw some fanatics walking along the street. I had it mind that the gathering was over. All the cars move bit by bit, inches by inches, so long that it took another 30 minutes, the course was short though. Eventually i drove at the side of the gathering site. It was a large lot usually functioned as a driving exercise range. The maddest thing about these people having this gathering, was their behavior. Along the site and the street, they were moving out and going home, ignoring other cars that had been in the waiting games wandering in mind of what happened that night, and selfishly using some men to stand and held the cars just to let their cars coming out from the area.

I found it very annoying. I may understand if this was done at the start, because as a holder the committee may have to make sure that the only performer they have has to come on time and without trivial traffic situation. In comparison, i want to take a music concert as an example. A couple of concerts i had attended,  none of them applied specialty or personal righteousness of going in and out the area for the audience. Artist and musician that had to perform were the only people to have it. In order to make sure they come safely and in the right manner of doing the show. Similar to these cases, i think that all of them fanatics should not be feeling righteous of having their own way while leaving the scene.

We the people trapped in traffic on your behalf are humans of the same right of using the road. You all fanatics are just an audience in my perspective. So none of you having that right to go wandering around the street as you want it. Think about other people too! I feel bad for them as this is not the only time i had seen them this way. Some friends back in past times also shared the same stories, that these kind fanatics always manage to cause a large amount of traffic jam.

So to me, this was another unethical ways of holding a public gathering. They could have been held in a building, or a better lot where lots of people can be gathered round in a nice way, and not having the ‘other’ people not involved have to deal with sudden long-hours of traffic jam.

Nothing Left

I’ve fallen you upon your knees
Made you drove the river of your tears
Those guilty feelings I had for you
Wish we’d never been through these miseries

This thing, it takes two to be one
You wanted to walk but i rather stop
Thoughts and arguments filling our days
We would walk each other apart, so we know it

So now we’re living our own way
Hard to believe ‘us’ would be a success
Memories and aches filling our dreams
Making my consciousness a rushing stream

‘I am sorry’ is hard to be spoken
As every letter of it has its consequences
Strength, happiness, patience looks from the outside
No one knows a sinking ship at the inside

*Differences are hard to unite
Impossible ways we have tried
Still it is not working for us
It’s hard to believe we would last

**Joys and regret company our act
This tragedy hold me up I can’t react
I’m not wise but at least I could think twice
If only I could turn back time