Catch A Breath

God, it’s going to be 6 years by this September of 2010. I got accepted into my university in 2004, if I’m not mistaken it was around August. The same month where i was running away from home, a sign of protest that I needed some personal space and freedom of thought as a human being. I was a very pure young lad back then, knew nothing but some idealism of how to live life.

I have been studying psychology for 4,5 years. This is not a short period of learning how a human being should behave and think within accordance manner of his/her environment. A lot of things i have learned since the first day i attended university. The very proud day of wearing that yellow jacket, sometimes to round up the sleeves, showing off some machismo.

First thing i learned was “the way of respect”. To honor someone, in eastern culture, especially in this country i am living, it is considered  rude to call someone older than you by his/her first name. My family always had this in my mind. It is rather a complex thing, talking about someone’s first name. Added up, in Javanese culture, though one is younger in age than you, if one is a child of someone older than your parents within the root of the family (simply put: younger cousin from your ma’s/ dad’s older brother or sister); then you should not call one by one’s first name. In English, it would be like adding a “bro” or “sis” before his/her name.

In contrast to this value i have been taught my whole life, up till now of course. In my faculty, majoring psychology i were, actually still am, calling somebody by one’s first name is actually OKAY! As long as the one you referred to is not a professor nor a lecturer. Then you should use “sir” or “ma’am” before one’s name. I am talking about colleague here, not professors. It is really okay to call your sophomores, your seniors, even last year ones, just by their first name, though you are a freshman. To be noted, one of my seniors actually told me that: TO RESPECT SOMEONE IS NOT BY ADDRESSING THEM WITH CALLS OR NAMES. His point was, attitude is much more important than just a name. If you truly respect someone, show it with your attitude, your thoughts, your behavior, and your actions toward one. Calling names like “bro” or “sis” is useless if you have in-the-contrary-attitude towards anyone you called by one.

That was number one, first thing i learned during the days i attend university up until now. This second one, is rather unique. As a college graduate, anyone is expected to produce and have some skills of academic writing. Be it a scientific short article, a short daily events analysis journal, even a thesis! In short, once you have graduated from university you are expected to have some productivity in writing. One important principal i was taught back then, and i remember it till now: YOUR VALUE AS A HOLDER OF A BACHELOR DEGREE, ESPECIALLY MAJORING PSYCHOLOGY, IS WEIGHED BY YOUR WRITINGS. He was trying to say, your writings represent yourself. No matter how simple it is, the way you spoil ideas and crafted it as writing is a vivid projection of what you are, who you are.

Third one is something came out from my very own personal experience. You may guess, it has something to do with romantic relationship, i admit it. Whenever you engaged with whoever he/she is, you’re talking about creating a solid mixture of values, thoughts, and attitudes together as one, a holy universe for both person. Of course, there would be problems, arguments, fights, even disappointments. Upon this rise and fall of relationships, i actually learned one crucial thing i took as prime principal my whole life: PROBLEMS ARE THERE TO SOLVED. No matter how far you ran away, it would always be there haunting you over time unless you face it. Let alone the consequences of solutions. Simply put, you don’t run from your problems, you face them!!

Well, those were what i have learned during my first few days attending university. I currently taking a semester break, a forceful one in order to save my academic career. I have taken all twelve semesters that were available for each person studying psychology in our university. In my last one, i forcefully took a break, as i said earlier. This prevented me from getting dropped out after the 12th semester, instead i have another extra one to spend. I would use it wisely, since it is my ‘last’ one for real.

Having this major problem of getting dropped out or graduate is like having a rope around your neck. You are faced with two options only: to keep breathing or  to jump down, end it all. Nevertheless, the three points i have mentioned earlier came useful to me around this tight moment. One, no matter what you have been through, if you survive it people would give you the attitude of respect, with note in mind that not everyone could barely escape the very same rope. Two, i would worth and weighed high if i choose to keep breathing instead of jumping down. I might choose to end it all immediately, while keeping in mind that breathing with a rope around your neck is useless. If i just continue breathing, and really start pushing myself to finish my thesis and have that bachelor degree, i would not need to jump down. I could save myself from this hang-to-death punishment. This is my main problem right now, which led us to enter number three, problems are there to be solved. We don’t run, because no matter how far we go away, it will always haunt us back, waiting to be faced.

All i need now, is to catch a breath…. phewso help me God!

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2 thoughts on “Catch A Breath

  1. good luck, yo!!!
    gue juga lagi mengalami yang nomer 3 nih. lagi sering lari2 dari laporan…capekkkk..

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