Me Time

I’m an introvert, sometimes I’d rather to keep to myself and not bothering the world. So let me be on that kind of moment. It’s just my way to recharge mentally. Not even a warm good night call would work for me. I’m sure you might have experienced the same situation at some other times when you feel like you’d like to be left alone. Not because you are having a strong negative emotion you worried it might got displaced to the wrong person. It’s just that you need that silent moment, thinking about things, doing your own cool things (writing, music listening, contemplating, etc).

It might sound kind of strange, for you who have a GF/ BF within this circumstance. They might call, you’d feel wrong not to answer yet you also need that ‘loneliness’ for a moment. A little tip, just tell him/her you need that time. No matter how much your love is, it isn’t quite the substitute for a solitary moment.

Well, that’s “me time” for me. At times I would get angry being disturbed while being alone. Mostly I would let anyone know (perhaps implicitly by turning my lights out) that I’d like to be left alone or currently having a work/ report to be done. When I got too exhausted, either mentally or physically, this way (being in a solitary situation) somehow helps me get my ‘energy’ back. That’s just it…on contrary there are also people who ‘charge’ by plunging themselves in party or going to the mall…me? I just like to be left alone for a moment, please 🙂

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Time is ticking fast, while my heart and mind go slowly.
This emotional rush going so fast, while the moment goes as if for centuries.
People come and go so easily, hence forgetting what they have done is hard.
Happiness happens in a glance yet sadness staring me all day long.

I feel awkward these days…

On Contrary

Time and distance are my enemy
on contrary
They happened to be my allies as well

Time helped me decided where I am going right now, to wait and develop for something I have been building for the past 2 years. Distance, no matter how far helped me to understand what togetherness really means. There were more and more for both, further miles to travel yet plenty of chances to get through.

on contrary

Now I have lesser for both, smaller chance(s) yet closer distance. Just a doorstep away, a glance and somehow I will get there, yet time has little mercy for me to try.

Yes, while I was needed to travel far on contrary I still got time to go. Now, while as if it is just a doorstep away on contrary time would not allow me to travel.

Quite sad, for lesser chance(s)…on contrary…quite happy this could nourish me while blossoming ours…

Once there was this application on Facebook, about the big 5 traits of human personality (conscientiousness, agreeableness, openness to experience, extraversion, and neuroticism), that i had took back then.
It was about a simple and free (but not comprehensive of course, you must pay for it) about how a personality of an individual varies among those 5 traits postulated by Costa-McRae on 1992.

Simply put, i was ‘diagnosed’ as having a low neuroticism and conscientiousness compared to other’s result, and in general level of the other three traits. Nowadays, i feel more anxious about my life and significant others. I worried too much someone might get hurt or in brink of a dangerous situation, i often thought that he/ she should not doing whatever one was supposed to. I was not sure if it was just me or maybe those ‘danger’ could really arose presenting harm to my loved ones.

My story currently, i worry too much that she might be in trouble of some sort. I just don’t want anything happens to her, but maybe i am thinking about it too much.

Advancement Survival (contemplation)

Many things and people have their advancement, me too, we all have. In general terms, every people should be happy that their life is progressing. Me? Well I can say I am happy for some aspects of my life. Somehow, there is an advancement I had expected, I just did not see it coming this fast. I feel sad about it, I think I am going to miss the old days. But I would not be fair to the universe if I expect everything to be the same exactly like how I was happy about it, since every single thing (even human cell) is evolving. I could never stop the evolution and progress, all I could achieve is to cope, to adapt, to survive, as Darwin once proposed…survive is for the fittest. I hope I am fit enough for recent circumstances.